Updated: May 16, 2022
The goddamn tick tick tick of the machines had me going CRAZY. The more I laid in bed with chemo dripping into my veins, the more observant I became. I would hear every single thing that happened in my room. I would count footsteps, I would count to 100 and back just for fun. I would pick the nails off my fingers. Laying in bed is SO boring. The best thing I could do when I was bored was walk around. In my first couple rounds of treatment I was able to get up and move a little bit. Walking through the hallways felt like pure freedom. Seeing other faces besides my parents and doctors was incredible. Walk until you can’t.
And when you can no longer walk because you are so so weak, just play games. I could never really look at my computer screen or my phone screen to watch TV or movies because the light would burn my eyes and give me a headache. The best distractions were always when I had visitors. My friends would come over and we would play the most random mind games in my hospital room. One of my favorites was called Black mirror (look it up). Another one of my favorites was the name game (also look it up). I’d make my friends entertain me. I’d have them tell me stories, tell me the latest gossip, tell me jokes or the best ones would just sit in silence with me. Because for me, just knowing they were present made me feel better.
What I wish I did more of was talk to the other patients. If you can move at all, just go knock on your neighbor’s door and sit in the room and get to know them. They’re the best people you can talk to because likely they’re feeling the same way as you.