“Special,” isn’t that something everyone desires to be? So why do we find ourselves apprehensive about “special needs”?
In my life, “special needs” is not a concept, but a reality woven into our family’s tapestry. I am the eldest of six children, two of whom were adopted and have Down Syndrome. Ellen, my vibrant big sister in her 30s, is a whirlwind of cheeky confidence, while John, my 20-something teddy bear, exudes a quieter energy yet possesses an unparalleled superpower of empathy.
When I say WE adopted them, it’s not just a formality. My parents officially adopted Ellen and John, but the entire family—siblings, grandparents, cousins—embraced them wholeheartedly. They make us all special: the good and the bad, the glorious and the awkward, the beautiful and the challenging—all woven together into something uniquely special.
Rather than focusing solely on how special Ellen and John are, which I feel a blog could never truly capture, I want to share what we have become because of their presence in our lives.
We Are Interesting - Embracing Special Needs
This isn't a boast—it's a fact. Our family’s uniqueness makes me more interesting. People are often fascinated by this aspect of my life, whether out of curiosity, admiration for my parents, or misguided pity for perceived challenges. But let me assure you, having Ellen and John in my life has always been a source of pride, not embarrassment. From Ellen’s bold fashion choices to John’s endearing simplicity, they make life richer and more fascinating. And by extension, so do I, and so do you. Embrace the specialness in yourselves and others—be proud of it!
We Are Patient
Our patience isn't moral superiority but a deep appreciation for the time and effort required to master a skill or communicate effectively. For example, teaching John animal noises at age five was a week-long endeavor filled with repetition and encouragement. It wasn’t frustrating; it was enriching and engaging. This patience has made us more empathetic and understanding, seeing every challenge as an opportunity for growth rather than a hurdle.
We Are Reasonable Achievers
Our expectations are neither too high nor too low; they are different. I’ve seen Ellen’s ambitious dreams—like becoming “Joe’s carer” or a “science engineer” inspired by movies—and I recognize the drive to reach for goals. Her current job in packaging may not be glamorous, but her pride in her work is undeniable. This experience has taught me to appreciate different forms of achievement and to set goals that are realistic and achievable. The same approach applies to everyone: understand your unique pace and keep your goals grounded.
If the fear isn’t about being “special,” then perhaps it’s about the “needs” part. Is it daunting to need more help, time, or attention? If your answer is no, you might be on the path to robust mental resilience. But if the answer is yes, then let’s face that fear together—it will be an experience that makes us all the more special