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Remembering When I Was Diagnosed

Gosh… remembering when I was diagnosed. So, today is August 2017 and I was diagnosed on May 28th, 2014. It’s been over three years and I still remember it so distinctly. I was 17 years old, a junior at Sacred Heart Preparatory in Atherton, California. I had just finished my last final -- math -- and went straight to the doctor's office for my appointment. I already knew that I was in for some very big and probably scary news because the night before when I was studying for my math final with my boyfriend we overheard my mom talking on the phone with my doctor. The only word we heard was Lymphoma…

At the time I had no idea what it was. Immediately I remember Googling the word and seeing “cancer” pop up. So when I arrived at the hospital I was nervous. I can still picture exactly what room I was diagnosed in, exactly the position I was sitting in and exactly what the doctor said. My family and I were sitting in room three and I was keeled over by the side.

My doctor was mentioning so many different things -- I heard him say cancer, chemo, lymphoma, radiation, needles, IVs, biopsies, transplants… I was so overwhelmed, but I was stone cold. And then I heard him say “your hair will fall out.” And that’s when it hit me -- I burst into uncontrollable tears.

At that point, I hadn’t even begun to wrap my head around the news I had just received. I was so scared, so overwhelmed and in so much denial. It was unbelievable. I think I remained in this state for a couple of weeks to be honest -- maybe even the entire summer.

NOTE: This is the first post at by Katherine "Moi" Lee. In the coming weeks and months, we are honored to publish more of her story, from the boredom of chemo infusions to the fear of missing out on "regular" life. We hope you'll come back to join Moi here!

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